Mothers’ Days are painful for many people for many different reasons. For some of us it is because of the pain that occurred when we lived in a home that was or is still, filled with abuse and rejection. That home might be the one we grew up in or the one we raised our children in. Any home in which there is a pattern of rejection and/or abuse whether the abuse is physical, sexual, emotional or financial will potentially result in painful memories.
During the years of my marriage to my children’s father, I walked on eggshells as Mothers’ Day approached. I never knew what to expect on the “special” day. My children’s dad occasionally did something very thoughtful but most of the time, he would pick a fight making Mother’s Day a time of hurt and humiliation.
It has been more than 20 years since my divorce and almost as many years since my children were grown and out of the house, yet Mother’s Day still remained a painful event; a day I dreaded. I felt as though I were living in some perpetual “Ground Hog Day” movie. In the movie, I was caught in a time warp repeating one of the worst emotional days of my life trapped in a maze of emotional pain, shame and humiliation. This year, God did something very special for me. He liberated me by His love. God gave me a Mother’s Day gift! I believe if you hide in your heart what God spoke to me, it will bear fruit in you and comfort you, too, if you are one who dreads Mothers' Day for similar reasons.
God convinced me the measure of my motherhood was not in gifts, cards, calls or the lack of them from my children. He spoke to my heart that the measure of my motherhood was found in Him. His is the only opinion on the quality of my mothering that matters. And for the first time, I felt He was pleased. Pleased that I took responsibility for my part in my relationship with both my mother and my children. Pleased that I gave my heart to continued change, healing, repentance and maturity. And pleased that my heart not only was able to receive His love for me, but, that I was learning to love others with that same love.
Knowing God’s pleasure in me, that He doesn’t hold my mistakes or sin over my head, comforted me and for the first Mother’s Day, I had complete rest. I knew that whatever the day might bring, it was not a measure of me, my success or my failures.
If you lack wisdom, if your pain is still so great that your heart is hardened or filled with negativity towards yourself and your family, I want to encourage you to go to our Adonai, our Lord, Abba, our Father, invite Him into those places of pain. He will deliver you, heal you, comfort you and fill you with peace.