I have this love/hate thing happening when shopping. I love the idea of something new to wear and I hate the struggle of finding something that both looks good and is reasonably priced. Usually, I come home empty handed and defeated.
Today was an exception! But before I tell you why today was different let's explore why clothes shopping can be so defeating and depressing?
I don't know about you, but, for me the simple act of trying on clothes can throw me back into the body image war in my head. I'd look in the fitting room mirror and it would talk back to me.
YES! I hear it pointing out every conceivable imperfection. “Thighs are wide, stomach is poochie, chest too small, midriff too thick.”
What the heck?? I thought this war would be over and completely won, the day I met my weight loss goal!
However, today was different! Not just because I found clothing that fit both my body and my budget, but because the war in my head wasn’t as loud nor as long as it has been in the past. What a victory!
As I basked in the victory, God began speaking to my heart. I realized, my internal value system was shifting!
How did this happen? It happened because I learned what "skinny" meant to me. Attaining "skinny" meant I would have a perfect body. A perfect body meant recognition. It meant I would look fantastic in everything I wore. I would be instantly popular; no one would ever reject me again. Skinny meant success, satisfaction, peace, and freedom.
I faced the truth that although I had lost weight, made my weight goal and maintained it "skinny" DID NOT magically change my life. My body still isn't perfect. My problems are not solved. I didn't suddenly achieve success, satisfaction, peace or freedom as it promised.
No, skinny cannot do for us what God can and wants to do. He wants to see us healthy emotionally, physically and spiritually. He wants us to know our worth as His child, just because we are His. He longs for us to know Him intimately. It is His love for us that sets our hearts free.
When we know who He is and we trust what He says about us, we find contentment and the antidote to striving to be skinny or perfect. God wants us to gaze upon Him (not our scales) and to seek Him (not body perfection) with our whole hearts. The more we do, the better He is able to heal the broken places and clean out the root lies that produce our striving for perfection.
Do you want to be free from the skinny task master? Then ask yourself, what does skinny mean to you. Better yet, ask the Lord. He came to heal the broken hearted. He came to set the captives free.
I am praying for you right now, if you are struggling in this area of your life that you will find healing and freedom. I pray it won’t take you as long as it took me to learn to be free from the power of skinny!